Single men looking to join a swingers club isn’t always the easiest thing to accomplish. Swinging is typically a couples activity. However, many couples enjoy having a third involved, and dealing with other couples can throw the numbers out of balance. Because of this, single men do have limited opportunities to fit in with couples. Here are a few tips.
Swingers Club Events
One of the easiest ways to fit in with a couple is to attend a swinger’s club event or swingers party. For single men the clubs will typically only have a certain number that are admitted. To ensure you are one of the men that end up being allowed admittance, you should call ahead and find out if you need to reserve a spot. If they don’t accept reservations, you want to show up early enough to be allowed in. This way you don’t have to worry about all the spots already being taken up.
Another good way to find couples you will fit in with is to head for the internet. If you join a swinger’s forum or swingers dating site you can increase your chances of finding another couple. This way when the couples want to swing with a third, they will just invite you to the party of event. Since you are going with another couple most clubs will allow you in without any issue. Just be aware that you will be watched and held to higher standards. You risk getting kicked out if you are found to be trolling around looking for other couples. Only if you are invited to join should you join. You won’t be allowed to lurk.
Someone without a mature attitude won’t last long in a swinging lifestyle. While age isn’t terribly important, the maturity level is. Here are a few reasons why.
The swinging lifestyle is only going to work for those who are open-minded. Some younger people are open-minded enough, but this typically comes with experience. Swingers do many different types of activities, and this could include BDSM or cross-dressing, and someone with a low level of maturity may not be open to this.
Healthy Sexual Relationships
Another reason maturity is so important revolves around being able to form a healthy relationship. Jealousy is common and normal, and someone who isn’t mature won’t be able to confront and deal with this natural reaction. Rules and boundaries can help jealousy, but those with limited experience in relationships and sex won’t understand how to deal with the feelings when they come up. A swinging couple needs to be able to express their feelings openly and honestly with one another before the problems come up. Having a plan to deal with jealousy is something else that mature couples are able to implement to reduce the strain it could cause on the relationship.
All swingers’ clubs will require that everyone attending be at least 18 or the legal age of majority for their jurisdiction. Since alcohol may be involved in some events, some clubs require the age to be at least 21. Even at 21 many couples will be apprehensive about playing with someone who is younger simply because the age difference can create issues.
When you are new to swinging it can be challenging. It’s not uncommon for newbie’s in the lifestyle to be nervous and not understand how it all works. Being a single man or a man in a swinging relationship can make this even harder. Here are a few tips that will help you transition in to the lifestyle more easily.
Join the Right Site
Make sure that the swingers site that you join is busy and vibrant, check out the personal ads for your location, for example if you lived in say Waterford, Ireland this sites section on Waterford Swingers would show you that the site is busy, is regularly attracting new members and that the existing members are active, a busy site means more choice.
Check Out the Forums
Swinging forums are a great source of information by actual swingers. People will tell stories of their past experiences, and this allows you to get a better idea of what you should expect as a new swinger. You can also read how couples find a single man to join if this is your situation. Swingers are an open minded bunch of people, and they won’t chastise you for asking questions. This makes forums invaluable when it comes to swinging for newbie’s.
If you are involved in a relationship with someone who wants to swing, the first thing you should do is set some rules. Each couple will have their own rules, and there are never any rules that are wrong. It’s just a matter of what works for you. The purpose of the rules is to keep the relationship strong while decreasing the jealousy factor. Jealousy won’t disappear entirely, but with good boundaries in place it does help decrease the feelings. If you are single and looking to swing, rules are still important. If you’ve been invited to play with other couples, you need to know what their rules are. This will eliminate any issues with their relationship and will allow everyone to enjoy themselves.
Posted on : 02-03-2011 | By : admin | In : General
The swinging lifestyle is different for men, women, and couples. Swinging as a single man will be a different experience than others. If you are new to the lifestyle, or interested in becoming involved, here are a few things to keep in mind.
Rules and Boundaries
The first thing you should be aware of is the fact that all swingers have their own rules and boundaries they follow. These rules will vary from couple to couple and person to person. As you start to get involved with different couples, you need to make yourself aware of their rules and always respect them. This means you don’t get involved if you aren’t invited. You should also not try to exploit any rules or push anyone to go farther than they are willing. The swinging community tends to be close knit, and it’s not hard to get blacklisted from parties and events if you break any of the rules.
Going online is one of the easiest ways to get involved in the lifestyle. Many swingers now use the internet as a form of connection and meetings. You can find swingers forums that will provide you valuable information about the lifestyle and what to expect. You can also meet other swingers using the forums. This is especially helpful if you want to find a single lady to swing with regularly, or you want to meet a few couples to play with from time to time. Setting up a profile on a swingers dating site is also a good idea, as it allows you to find exactly what you are looking for without having to troll the clubs.
Posted on : 20-02-2011 | By : admin | In : Addicted to Sex
While sex addiction is a serious problem, there are some ways to help control the consequences of this behavior. Swinging may be a good outlet for men who have an addiction to sex. This may sound controversial, but here are a few things to consider.
A swinging lifestyle allows you to be more open with your sexuality. In a swinging community it’s not frowned upon to have sex with multiple people. This combined with the fact that many swingers participate in fetish play, a swinging lifestyle can afford an addict to get what they need without cheating or straying.
If you are a sex addict and looking to the swinging community for help, you need to be sure that you have a partner who understands your needs and is willing to participate. Jealousy will still come up, but a swinging couple will confront this monster head on before it becomes an issue. When you have rules and boundaries set up beforehand, it makes a swinging lifestyle much easier.
When to Seek Help
If sex is dominating your life, making work difficult, and damaging your relationships, even a swinging lifestyle won’t help. If the addiction gets this far it’s wise to seek counseling or professional help to gain control over it again. Addiction can damage your professional and personal life quickly if it’s allowed to get out of hand. Sex addiction is a recognized addiction and there are support groups and professional programs set up to help those overcome it.
A MMF threesome means male-male-female. When most people think of threesomes they think of a single man with a few women. These threesomes are great for men who have bisexual curiosity, or for women who want to experience double penetration scenarios. If you want to try a MMF threesome, here are a few things to keep in mind.
While it may sound fun, without setting rules it can be a disaster. If the men are interested in bisexual play, this should be mentioned before anything is set up. This way there are no surprises that could potentially ruin the mood. The same goes for the woman involved. If she is okay with the men playing together it should be brought up beforehand. Many women are excited about the idea of watching two men together, but they don’t want to participate in any DP action. This is why it’s vital to set up rules and boundaries before any threesome begins.
Protection is also important when planning a MMF threesome. Beyond condoms, lubricants should be involved, especially if you are planning DP or bisexual activity. You should make sure the condoms are changed before each different act and different partner. Never use the same condom between multiple people, as this can spread infection and disease. If you are using toys in the mix, either use condoms on the toys or don’t use the toys on multiple people without washing them well in between. To keep the mood going, it’s a good idea to just use the condoms and keep a good supply on hand.